Arranged marriages.

regarder film rencontre à wicker park Marriages are definitely made in heaven.

pieza para hombre solo Matchmaking is done on earth.

x rencontre “Seeing” a prospective bride was serious business in India. And a dedicated career for many. Then and Now. At the turn of the Century Marriage bureaus  opened up in Cyberspace, but even with the progress and ease that technology has made in our lives, the human matchmaker never went out of vogue.

agence rencontre cupidon saguenay Marriages were usually arranged by either a professional, or a member of the family with a fertile imagination. Normally, prospective brides are visited and inspected as merchandise, by prospective in-laws. Various relatives, close and much removed, would join the entourage, to accompany the bridegroom and his family to the bride’s house. When everyone knows your name in the hamlets, the viewing could end up with a flurry of activity from friends, relatives and neighbours.

rencontres bxl The anxious family would be alerted that the “Boy’s people ” were on their way when the viewing party was spotted in the village. The visitors would be welcomed and pleasantries would be exchanged.  After a while, the bride would be called in to serve tea and nibbles the family claimed were cooked by the Girl.  If you ate with gusto, it meant that you liked the girl and the answer would be favourable “yes”. If the answer was a definite “no” to the match, the visitors would show restraint when the food came around.  

follow This reminds me of how one of my 57 cousins, got into trouble with his parents, on the lack of restraint he showed, when the food appeared at all the prospective houses. In all fairness, he was working in one of the Scandinavian Countries and had come on holidays when he was persuaded to do the “Girl Seeing ” rounds. He loved his food and had been starved of ethnic food, for months on end.  The poor chap was languishing on a bland continental diet, sans the zing and pizazz of the fiery curries, cooked in mud pots, on a firewood stove in his mother’s kitchen. When he was taken on the rounds, he thought he had died and gone to heaven. He did not look right or left , or up from his plate.  He ate up everything he was offered and everything his eyes clapped on, sending wrong signals of approval to the Girl’s family.

follow Later out of earshot, when he was asked if he liked the girl, he answered, What girl? Where girl? I only saw the food. Finally, he was muzzled and kept on a short leash till his yearning palate quietened down and he made the right choice.

mujeres solteras fb The nervous bride would be pushed into the room with the tea tray. A mental note would be taken of her gait and stance to see if she had a limp or deformity. Her weight would be recorded on an invisible scale. Thin was out, Fat was in. Tea would be served, to see if she was clumsy and spilled the tray. Sometimes, bits of the Bible would be read out, to rule out a stammer.

Musical achievements, if displayed, were bonus. Looks were important but secondary. The bride-to-be had to be strong and healthy. She would have to look after the house and bear several babies.

If you slipped through the nets and fell in love, that was different. But, if you were seeking an alliance, in the Arranged Marriage market, you went shopping, you inspected the goods and chose the best you could. The lives of two young people depended on the choices made for them, at the viewing.

After the covert, but rigorous inspection, the visitors would leave, promising to call later, with an Aye or a Nay. Even then, there was no guarantee that the same girl, seen at home during the viewing, would walk up the steps to the church. Substitute old-maid sisters of the bride, shrouded heavily in bridal saris, would step off the shelf, to appear at the altar, at a point of no return.

Sometimes, the Boy and Girl never met at all, before the wedding. They met each other for the first time at the altar, in church, during the wedding ceremony, when they, as perfect strangers, vowed to stay together forever, till Death did them part. You were never to speak to strangers, but it was perfectly okay to marry one and jump into bed with him. Provided the family had found him for you.

Many of these marriages lasted long and happy years, separated only by the death of a spouse. Expectations in arranged marriages were usually realistic. Perhaps it was an adaptation of the Stockholm Syndrome, a psychological phenomenon of Capture-Bonding , in which the hostages have positive feelings toward their captors, expressing empathy and sympathy, sometimes to the point of defending the captors and identifying with them. Maybe Love, peeped in to stay, as well .

The “elders” in the family would have shortlisted and fine tuned the whole process of finding a suitable match. The boy and the girl, merely did as they were told. They dressed when told  and walked down to the local church in their new clothes, to get married.

“Seeing” a bride was serious business.

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